Post Number Forty-Six

TWO YEARS AND THREE BIRTHDAYS

I began this journal just before I turned 60 in 2009.  Little did I know at the time that my 60th birthday would be consumed with taking Terry to the first of her chemo and radiation treatments.  I remarked at the time that I regarded that situation as an unexpected gift - to have the privilege of helping my wife through an unexpected and unwelcome medical crisis.  I said at the time that I was filled with confidence that the treatments would be effective and that we would win this battle against cancer.

Today is my 62nd birthday.  Today I went with Terry to the oncologist to receive the results of the latest CT scan.  Here we are two years after I began this journal and the battle continues.  The cancer is progressing once again.  Now Terry is experiencing chronic pain.  Once the pain issue is addressed she is looking at another round of chemotherapy.  Our expectations have now changed.  We now concede that cancer is a part of our lives and that this is a running battle against a tenacious disease.

On this my third cancer birthday I have a new understanding of what it means to "beat" cancer.  Physically this disease is what it is.  The surgeries and the treatments have some effect, but there is no cure in this case. There is only a relentless determination that this disease will not keep us from living the lives God has given us.  The victory over this disease will be a spiritual victory.  We will beat it back repeatedly and continue the living and loving for which God has equipped us.  There is nothing that can separate us from the love of God - certainly not a tenacious and despicable disease.